i totally agree! the normalization of a constant fear of being cheated on is so weird to me. if you don't trust the other person, why are you in a relationship? i think having someone's location only makes sense for safety/ you're just curious what they're up to. for example, i have my siblings' locations and i'll check to see if they're at work/school so i know if it's a good time to call.
exactly the kind of real harsh (not really i’m just sensitive HAHA) truth i needed to hear. especially having bpd and abandonment issues, i am learning not to project onto my relationships past traumas. this is so real, and so well written!! 💗
Thank you sweet Sam! You are wonderful. Not projecting is so hard and I promise you’re not alone! I have an anxious attachment style piece coming out soon that will hopefully help you too!!!!!!
This is very well written. It’s 6 a.m. for me, and I felt nice but also a bit sadly relatable while reading this. Although I’m not in any relationship, I can feel the social anxiety part, which includes constant checking and obsession with social presence. But I think your shift to a grandma-esque way of using your phone really solves your problems. I feel like that’s a superpower. Trust me, not everybody can get rid of screen time these days, myself included. But anyway, good read.
Ah! Thank you for the kind words <33 Yes I totally get what you mean re: constant scanning for how you're acting and what others are thinking about it (usually nothing at all!) and in my dreams I'd have a flip phone but for now that's still aspirational... Anyway, thank you for reading and taking the time to comment! It meant a lot to me.
HAHAHAHA i’m literally laughing and also feeling so attacked reading the title. it’s so relatable, i can’t even deny it. the level of insecurity and anxiety that creeps into relationships is so real, and it’s wild how we get trapped in these patterns of checking, overthinking, and obsessing over the smallest details. i’ve been there, too. it’s exhausting, and honestly, it just eats away at you until it becomes this unhealthy cycle. like, the fear becomes louder than trust. THIS IS SUCH A GREAT PIECE!!!!
THE FEAR BECOMES LOUDER THAN TRUUUUUUUUUST!!!!!!!! OK 1) thank you for reading and commenting, your words always brighten my day whether in your pieces or in our interactions and 2) I was listening to one of Jillian Turecki's podcasts on anxious attachment and she was talking about how it's us vs. ourselves, scanning for proof or evidence that something is wrong (where nothing IS wrong) until we drive ourselves crazy and not even because of anything our partner did, just because of what we're scanning for. idk if that makes sense I'm so tired but YEAH!!!! THANK YOU!!!
i totally agree! the normalization of a constant fear of being cheated on is so weird to me. if you don't trust the other person, why are you in a relationship? i think having someone's location only makes sense for safety/ you're just curious what they're up to. for example, i have my siblings' locations and i'll check to see if they're at work/school so i know if it's a good time to call.
exactly the kind of real harsh (not really i’m just sensitive HAHA) truth i needed to hear. especially having bpd and abandonment issues, i am learning not to project onto my relationships past traumas. this is so real, and so well written!! 💗
Thank you sweet Sam! You are wonderful. Not projecting is so hard and I promise you’re not alone! I have an anxious attachment style piece coming out soon that will hopefully help you too!!!!!!
This is very well written. It’s 6 a.m. for me, and I felt nice but also a bit sadly relatable while reading this. Although I’m not in any relationship, I can feel the social anxiety part, which includes constant checking and obsession with social presence. But I think your shift to a grandma-esque way of using your phone really solves your problems. I feel like that’s a superpower. Trust me, not everybody can get rid of screen time these days, myself included. But anyway, good read.
Ah! Thank you for the kind words <33 Yes I totally get what you mean re: constant scanning for how you're acting and what others are thinking about it (usually nothing at all!) and in my dreams I'd have a flip phone but for now that's still aspirational... Anyway, thank you for reading and taking the time to comment! It meant a lot to me.
HAHAHAHA i’m literally laughing and also feeling so attacked reading the title. it’s so relatable, i can’t even deny it. the level of insecurity and anxiety that creeps into relationships is so real, and it’s wild how we get trapped in these patterns of checking, overthinking, and obsessing over the smallest details. i’ve been there, too. it’s exhausting, and honestly, it just eats away at you until it becomes this unhealthy cycle. like, the fear becomes louder than trust. THIS IS SUCH A GREAT PIECE!!!!
THE FEAR BECOMES LOUDER THAN TRUUUUUUUUUST!!!!!!!! OK 1) thank you for reading and commenting, your words always brighten my day whether in your pieces or in our interactions and 2) I was listening to one of Jillian Turecki's podcasts on anxious attachment and she was talking about how it's us vs. ourselves, scanning for proof or evidence that something is wrong (where nothing IS wrong) until we drive ourselves crazy and not even because of anything our partner did, just because of what we're scanning for. idk if that makes sense I'm so tired but YEAH!!!! THANK YOU!!!
I THINK I REALLY NEED TO LISTEN TO THE PODCAST TOO omg thank you so much for sharing such great insights on this platform I LOVE YOUUUU
Love you pookums here is the link to the episode!!!! https://open.spotify.com/episode/6ViF47baArTO2yEuqKP3ra?si=1d1120285fc84e7d